The Book;Site Title

Seek to be justified by the law for salvation.You know why God’ s wisdom is despised? it’s because you can’t take credit for it.

You can’t boast, period!.They are like modern day Pharisees, they love little because they have forgiven little.They want all the glory of this life and the after life.They put the plough on the ground and look backwards.

But this is to confirm the prophecy spoken by prophet isaiah that they have eyes but never seeing. They use the law skillfully to guard their self righteousness.But the biting end of this form of religion is that it has a curse.

Some people reading my story may weep and wonder what were you thinking throwing your life to church leaders?. Well i lacked a father figure for my self
.I lacked affirmation at home . He wasn’t there presently for me ,basically i walked around in a spirit of orphanhood.

Even now when he sees me,deep down he knows I’m another Man’ s work I look familiar but of a different seed .It’s a mystery that I’m forever grateful for .

Thank you Father for this opportunity to share my story with others ,for making me a legend. Back to the story. Has not nature taught us that God has chosen those disqualified to be rich in faith? . “You hyporcrite! ,you claim to uphold the law yet you yourselves don’t keep it”.”Comparing yourselves one to another instead with God’s standard”. For a veil hangs over their eyes of those who reject Jesus’s righteousness for self righteousness.Not realising that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

For seeking to escape the shame of the cross they heap upon themselves curses.So it was with time, that I started spending more time in church than at home. Spending more time serving, if only they would absorb me.

I remember how low i was ,for mine was by faith while others was by works.I wanted the promise while shacking with haggar. I learnt a lot about them who were serving. Things like they are normal human beings, but they have something going on for them, it could be a good skill, intelligence or connection, something, that something may appear useful to parties concerned one way or another ,they are absorbed.

Where does that leave the weak ,the foolish, the not noble. There is this one colleague Martin*,this guy was faithful but he was commonly ignored ,i felt pity for him. For years he waited to be justified until his fellow brethren resented him. Looking back, I realise that all my life was plagued by robbery and rejection.

Yet i was in the perfect will ,being prepared for a move of God so wild it was good God kept me in the unknown(the removal of the veil ).

Rejection is a spirit that I had to contend with on the dusk of 2012. Back at home,i recieved the unfair end of the stick there (they shall hate you without a reason). My father didn’t hide this fact, despite struggling with alcohol he took pride in his life.

Out of my ignorance according to the erroneous teachings I had got from church, I sowed a seed on the altar of the church, for him to be delivered from the drink(i was adding to the finshed work of Christ) .I don’t think it’s my seed that did it, but in His mercy, God overlooked my ignorance and answered anyway.


Galatians talks about justification by faith. Isaiah 60, talks about the barren woman who has no children but that she will have more.

The barren woman is a picture of the church.His church,those who have allowed the lord to love them, fill them up and now they are immovable.

They choose to walk on water .It’s the spirit of the older son in the prodigal story. He can’t deal with his brother’s successful return, as he didn’t deserve it.

New age is very subtle, it’s very deceptive.It tells you “let us act like we have not sinned”, Really, will power gives you short term bouts of victory.

For the spirit is at a higher ground than the soul. Religion functions in the same way as new age,for examle christianity passes of Jesus name to mask the stench of human effort to earn salvation,they don’t really depend on him.

Remember the older brother is trying to earn his father’s love. I now understand what Jesus meant when he said” it is easier for a camel to enter through the eye of an needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”.It’s because as long as you are justified by your works, christ will profit you nothing.”You are under a curse you who are trying to be justified by the law, for it is written cursed is he who does not continue to do all that is written there in” paul admonishing the galatians.

It’s a lock I couldnt break .All my devotion, my will power just wasn’t enough to justify me before a trice holy God who at the time. During this period ,I had shed off the basic amennities of life(2008-2013) . With only the basics to go by. I had no shoes only an open one, no underwears ,only two trousers,I didn’t eat because it was meal time but I ate because i was hungry.

I had one belt close to five years. Oh may i never Forget where God has brought me from. Back to the testament, I was an animal basically. Because God was kind and merciful he hid this part of my life to my closest of friends.Some only heard the one you knew spent the night here woke up early and went to church on foot.I’m referring to my best friend’s brother.

Hence the fame and fortune really that I now enjoy has worked for my good. I have learnt to be humble, to walk with the gods of this land. He is merciful upto to today. One girl close to me could be reading this for the first time and” the one too”.

Part and parcels of this testimony I shared thereafter with the latter as well as the former before this disclosure ,slowly in snapshots bits. I was at the lowest, my greatest fear was going mad.I seldom looked at “them” (mad people) people, as my family.I knew the difference between me and them was God’s mercy.

For when one is under condemnation ,fighting centuries of corrupted blood line of sins when his friends are coasting, is enough to just bout toast you. It’s because of God’ s mercy I’m writing this book.

There was also an old lady who would beg me for a donation on my to church.I would greet her and because of condemnation, noting the strength of sin is the law, demonic manipulation would result because i believed wrongly, i.e like greeting that lady ,I would be convinced also by wrong doctrine ,that i have attracted her bondage.

For she too was under condemnation but for her she had already crossed the other side. Because i believed that, it manifested, the oppression. Such was my life, I envied humanity ,envied anybody that looked a bit better than me. It wasn’t long before I was broken by my trials ,and for the very first time in my adullt life, I would shed tears publicly, I was tired .

I would go to the church toilet ,lock myself up and weep .I could cry and in time, tears were my prayers to the Father, whom at the time i knew as God. In all this, the Lord was with me,people who knew me before wondered what happened to the boy they once knew .To be honest, a leader whom seven years prior i had served in his department came and asked”guy what happened to you ?,you don’t look like the guy I knew,you used to dressed well”.Thanks Mathenge.

The strength of sin is the law and the sting of sin is death. I was trying to be justified by the law,selah!.I guess in a way he added, i mean in a catalyst fashion, to the fullness of time,the birth pangs had begun.

Some called me and talked to me, some gave me clothes ,some gave me shoes. I envied man, I envied how people dressed,how people smiled, how do they do it?. They look so clean. The cracking came, with heavy condemnation, as i wasn’t able to maintain my own relationships and with this, I felt helpless and hapless.

I also got close to the church system.This worked for my good as i understood the systems, the ladder to success in churches that mix the scriptures i.e put old wine into new wine skins , it will certainly bursts. But such is the state of those who

This is to fulfill what was spoken” i will frustrate the intelligence of the wise”. Even i had to give up my wits to receive his unmerrited favor.By grace lest i boast,it’s a journey I’m learning even now. I had to let go of the known and embrace the unknown. That’s why the righteous shall live by faith.

That’s why only those people described in the beautitudes happen to receive. Those associated with Christ will ultimately bear his fragrance .I emphasise “those” because many are called but few are chosen .

These are those who are not ashamed of Christ .Is it the lack of fatherhood i missed as a child that made me allow myself to wallow so deep in the steeps of religion?,that i would give up clothes ,shoes, phones, time ,energy ,money ,self love.That i would take abuse to the level of hating myself all for gaining a place in the church family?. Jesus’s blood was shed for man’ s salvation.

He is the proprietor of our salvation, He became sin that we might become the righteousness of God in christ. Thus under the law, the old covenant ,this truth now is veiled to those whose hearts are not ready today to turn on to the father.

Yet I was not alone in this process.There was a someone, who counseled me along the way.The way Jonathan counseled David when he was fleeing from king saul .

He was a special person at that time, a john the Baptist named Joseph. A Raised Catholic, he defunked from the religion and sought” the way “which I would refer to protestant. Filled with the joy of the new life, he was full of empathy for such a soul as i.

He took my hand walked with me. For my drawbacks to alcohol condemned me ,to think God has disqualified me but he as the then mentor ,he told me in a snapshot there is grace.

One day,he took me to this fellow ship where I saw a drunk Christian testifying about Jesus and i believed!.I was delivered from condemnation of disqualifion. The strength of sin is the law. Joseph is the reason I’m alive today.He was a neighbour whom God had given grace to mentor me into liberty.He was anointed for this purpose and also for his destiny. He has seen my skeleton, my tears, in heaven we shall all laugh as we look at the DVD.

For seven years, I sat at his feet, i learnt a lot about the Christian culture.In the eve of November 2012, he was removed from my life and I had to fly solo . My foundation was weak and in four months ,I fell from grace and the law took hold of me .I became confused, like a blind man groping in the dark though it is daylight!. In that fullness of time, i reached the fullness of the law and the curse that Jesus bore for me came upon me.

For by seeking to justify myself before a trice holy God then, the full wrath that Jesus took on my behalf was obligated on me by the virtue of my wrong believing .

As the scriptures says the law was a custodian, that we were locked up until the time appointed by the father(Romans) . For i sought to be justified by the law.I was consecrated before time for this move ,the shift from law to grace.

What i would go through is what Elijah, Jeremiah and Isaiah felt, being led by the holyghost without Christ atonement. I’m what I’m by the grace of God .

Alone, was neccessary for that is where God wanted me to be.Where I can be ploughble,without the need for affirmation. Two months eight days ,I cracked coming under extreme condemnation.

This sent me to the doctors, where i was put under prescriptions as stated earlier. At this point ,my salvation was a revelation but Christ profited me nothing ,I had fallen from grace.

Two months after that ,i realised that i had made a mistake with nothing to loose I gave my life up.Anything that brought me condemnation,i got rid off.Until I found the peace that I needed. So, I knew this time it’s for keeps”put away the slave woman and her child for the slave woman and her child shall not inherit with the child of the promise”Galatians .

For if righteousness could be attained by the law Christ died for nothing. There was always a scripture that rang true in my heart that “those who loose their lives shall find it, but those who find their lives shall loose it “Jesus Christ.

March fourth 2013,after voting,in the country’s general elections, I made my way to church, the house of God. I had to do this,it’s the only thing I knew to do,seeking His face. Why wasn’t i accepted i


There is this theory that Jesus didn’t find room in the inn because it is was full. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The bible doesn’t say that there was no room in the inn, but “that there was no room for them” in the inn.You have to read it with revelation that the Son was facing rejection from the onset in this world.

For jesus was the matrix breaker as displayed in colosians 2:15.So while the Pharisees wanted to be gatekeepers ,Jesus made God and holiness accessible to everyone. When i look around, i realise that the gospel is predestinated, there are people who will not believe.

Giving being made equal to spirituality,this heresy is the height of demonic ostrisisation in the church. Thus having eyes but never seeing having ears but never hearing.

Levites, nazarites, sons of arron,saints who are counted worthy to be among the 144,000 languishing and despised.Yet ” they ” hope that we shall sit at the same table “at kingdom come.

Did you know you can’t loose your salvation? be condemned? be declared a sinner? after accepting Christ .Did you know immortality is a gift of right believing, that you are indestructible in the finshed work of Christ ?.

Where He did a quantum to take all your punishment at the cross two thousand years before your birth?. But before recieving the gift of condemnation, i want to embark you on how it all started, the seperation.

At age of 15, that was when i was awakened to the reality that there is a higher life.For no one puts a light under the bed but on top of the hill for all to see. But i can say what seperated me was my difference.That process led me to start isolating myself, to figure out my place in the world,then at 20 i surfaced . Look in the bible, the maim ,blind, whores, the short people,generally the outcasts, they were the receivers.

But before surfacing i used to lock my self indoors. I hate the self righteous guys who try to analyse a person during such a phase using phrases like depression. The woman with the issue of blood was depressed ,she justified being away from people who rejected her for her condition?.

But that person you are judging is dealing with his or her life the best way he /she knows. God’s grace upon his or her life is sufficient .

So at 22 I started doing it,I embraced the call ,the seperation,to grow as Christian,as a follower of Jesus Christ . There was a place that I escaped to,to weather the effects of failure,condemnation that I had experienced in my then christian walk. “Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted”(mathew5) . Back to the scene before that, the battle i was facing was bad, so bad that i volunteered myself and told my parents I need help meaning to see a shrink .

The matrix was rejecting me and i was unsure of myself. Right now if the “shrinks” Who knew me then know that it is i, who is writing this, they would awe at the outcome of who was before them.

Looking at our history in the faith was Abraham justified on the basis of works or faith?. For before slaying his only son he was called righteous, before bearing children a father of many nations. Back to the escape place, during the eight years i have mentioned that i visited this place ,a type of kadeshbarnia i would go here to escape. It was a wilderness in the real sense,at the far edge of our neighborhood.It is here ,that I recieved the consecration,the setting apart. It is here i shed my mortality, it is here that i was changed and one day i came out a lantern.

I went there first in an endeavor to seek answers in 2005. Look at Jesus going to the wilderness, David hiding in the caves, all over the bible ,men of God are continiously being hidden,preserved for the glory of God. I didn’t know that place would be my homage for the next eight years.

It was spontanioius, mainly after 8.00a.m .It was at this place that God decongested me from demonic defilement and baggage.Under the law sin is alive and punishment is given.Hell relishes at the torment of a condemned sinner. Demonic oppresion is real, I experienced it for seven years in before that season, unconsciously and eight years consciousnesly during that period of kardeshbarnea, a total of fifteen years .

They (nephlims) tormented me academically, sexually, mentally and the final blow was spiritual.