But why? Why did i have to go through what i went through?. To make Israel jealous.Thus the hardening of their hearts made a way for God to show me mercy,hence through belief ,all who believe may receive salvation, hence to lead them to jealousy . Sometimes i can’t boast of the grace i walk in, for the simple reason it’s undeserved, unmerritted ,unearned favor. To be honest, my story is simple, it’s the story of the Samaritan woman who went to draw water during noon day, when her haters were far from earshot. But to make you fully aware of what i battled it’s called religion or legalism.
Religion is what you do to earn browny points with God. It had a place in the old covenant ,a dispensation, a truth,a reality for that time. Things like sowing, praying at the altar, honoring the man of God to the utternost in a fearful reverence like the nairobi church i was in. What is legalism in the church today?It is a system of man made rules,a system of rewarding created by man,which was absolutely missing from the early church. It is a system created by cronies to protect their righteousness and also to keep others as babes so they can be beggars and not lenders.
I saw this for myself with my own eyes ,sheeps being milk of their fur by their shepherds. I thought i was an arnomally as i could see right through that. Here the leaders qualify and disqualify blessings from fellow believers under them, purely based on man’s understanding . It’s carnal,Paul admonished the church, ,show no favorism, that ‘s one should not chose after the flesh . In the old covenant, when David was to be crowned king, his father didn’t call him out from the field, where he was looking after his father sheep.I’m reffering when prophet samuel was looking for the one to be anointed king.Surely he doesn’t look like a king,he is younger according to his father, so he brought out his more favorable sons. But the truth is, that dispensation has passed it’s not relevant now for Christ fulfilled what we couldn’t do, as stated in romans 8. It’s only when prophet Samuel insisted to jesse, David’ s father, if he had another son, did his David dad ,recover from amnesia and called for his son from the field.
Salvation by works have seen couples battling it out, arms amputated. Now it’s at a point of the demonic. For the father of lies has capitalised on this default lifestyle proud christ proffesors have taken.
The funny thing is that legalist don’t keep the whole law they themselves but show favorism. That’s why even God warns to vomit them. Hence that’s how the church is when it comes to giving and serving, the lesser son is called for,but when it come to more glorious roles, it is reserved for those who have an outwardly good appearance. This too i saw with my own eyes that if you do not have a job or a degree to boast about, boasting basically, if you lacked it, you were and is disqualified. They won’t say it but you will get it by their attitude towards you. That is why I was never called for to lead players by departmental leaders concerned, until years later(this despite my consistency) .
But my presence was needed for washing the church. This snag was broken later on, when a new undescerning leader unwares of my status (financial) was put in charge and gave me a chance .We bonded and by the time he realised my status then our friendship and callings transcended bias (i think he secretly was praying for me ). That is what i observed when ever i tried to seek ministerial mentorship.It was a closed door but when odd meetings as stated in the above paragraph comes, I was expected.
This indirectly built resentment and an arnomally attitude towards me by the department members